Deafining Silence

This is day three waking up feeling this way. I always wake up feeling a sense of emptiness. It’s quit in my house. My brother and sister are at school and my mom and dad are at work. I haven’t seen Mom iand Dad in a few days because I’m always at work when they get home and I get home when their already in bed. It always quiet when I wake up and lately since I got this job the silence is defining. Maybe when I’m waking up next to M (that’s what I call him in public) everyday I’ll feel better. I’m not sure if it’s because I feel lonely or if I just miss them already. I like to surround myself with family usually.

All I know is that I can’t seem to shake this feeling. I’m not really crying this morning so that’s a good thing and M is trying to help me stay positive, distracted, and happy. I’ve noticed this and I’m ever so thankful for how supportive he is and how he is there for me.

I want to write a book, but I’m not sure about what. I think if I start doing this it will make me feel better. I don’t know. Writing kind of makes me feel better. That’s why I am doing it first thing this morning.

My question is how long is this going to last? My stomach has been acting up again too. First time in a long time. Probably because of how stressed I have been. I really don’t want to deal with being sick all 

the time again. So how can I keep myself happy and positive. Right now I’m trying to be positive.

It’s an adventure.

I’ll be with M finally.

It’my first big girl job.

I’ll get my own place that I can decorate and make comfy.

I’m really thinking I’m going to need a dog. Their therapeutic.

This is going to be a difficult, but exciting process.