Role Reversal Without Even Realizing

Today is Monday. Personally, this is no ordinary Monday. This is the last Monday of taking classes I will every have. I sit here and it's almost surreal. I don't feel like I am graduating, but come May 14th I will no longer be a student. Scary.

The other day Master and I were talking about the future and such. We realized something. We are both currently at different levels of education. Nether of us is more intelligent then the other (there is a pleasant balance); however, we learn and go through school differnelty. I am very proactive and fast paced in the way I do things where as He takes His time, He is patient (a quality I envy) and He works very hard to complete the task at hand.

It turns out I do have a dominant position in the relationship. When it comes to education, I know what it takes, where to go, how to plan it out (hints graduating in 3 years), but when it comes to street smarts and useful everyday social skills and knowledge, he has me beat. When we are apart, I have mostly the handle on the relationship. When we are together... I am in His domain.

Our relationship is so much more then a power exchange. It's a balance. Where I am shy, he is outgoing. Where I know how to beat the system, He knows how to apply knowledge. Where I need help keeping control, He is control. 

Yin and Yang, Sun and Moon, Dawn and Dusk, Boy and Girl, Dom and sub.

I love our relationship. After 6 years I can still say it is for lack of a better word. Perfect.

Love You Master

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Forever Your Darling Butterfly

Count down to graduation....with attitude.

I have been super busy with school, looking for jobs, and my organizations. That's why I dropped form the radar

First thing I want to write about is my visit to see Master this past weekend. It was short and bitter-sweet as always.

The moment I got there he came out to greet me and get my luggage, but once the door closed he did something I didn't expect.

Right away He told me to get in the waiting position and wait for Him.

He walked away and put my luggage in my room. I had an adrenaline rush because he never took control like that right away before. I sat there in anticipation.

He came back and told me to crawl to His room. I gave Him an are-you-serious look and He gave me His better-do-it-or-else look. I crawled into His room and he followed behind me a shut the door. I sat there and He came up behind me petting me and calling me a good girl. (I llllloooovvveeee when he does that. It's so comforting.)

and then... the rest is, well, self explanatory. hehe

I loved that, but it soon trailed off/lost steam. Sometimes He does that.

I figured out that my reaction to Him not being consistent in His was is acting like a total brat.

I get bitchy and bratty. It's an instant reaction. It's like words come out of my mouth before I think. I really really don't mean too, but I feel like when He's not controlling me or He's allowing the bitchy attitude to continue, it gets worse. I can't stop being bratty. I don't know why and then I always feel bad later.

Well the beginning of the weekend was great when it came to the domination, but after we were done having sex, it was over. So the whole weekend I had an attitude. I know I did and I feel bad about it. Then the next night I kept complaining that I wanted an orgasm. Finally He said get the handcuffs and your rabbit, which I did. I laid down on the bed as He put his rechargeable batteries in it (I can't afford batteries right now) He walked over and handcuffed me to the bed. Then proceeded to throw the rabbit on the floor and start fucking me himself.

The fucker tricked me!

I was a little peeved, but I liked it. hehe. I wasn't going to admit that at the time. It was like and sexual interrogation. (Okay sounds kinda dorky, but whatever)

Anyway, the last night I was there I got sick, again. It happened the last time I was about to leave Him, the last like three times. Pattern?

I think I get sick everytime we leave eachother because I'm tired of it. The panic and anxiety of having to say good-bye causes me to get sick. Ugh.

Anyway, I have a ton of work and three weeks to do it until I graduate, so I may be AFK (gamer geek language for away from keyboard) for a little. Don't hesitate to e-mail me if you feel like talking : )

<3 Ellie