It's official. I'm graduating next year. I am scared. What else is new? I am always scared.
I was reading on fetlife and this Dom posted somthing from his blog. It was a delicate look into someone's personal world. Very raw, very real.
http://www.vanilla-xtract.com/
It only made me miss my Master all the more.
This week has been rough. This month has been rough. Both Him and i are having issues and ongoings that are distracting us from one another.
Exam week is stressful. Too much to study and not enough time.The more I try to study, the less I can remember. It is increasingly ever frustrating.
My Love is having some personal problems of His own. We are both still young and I guess this is all a part of growing up. It is difficult, especially since we are both working constantly with images of eachother and clips of eacthothers voices flowing through our heads at random times of the day.
And when we are not talking and working for our futures all we can do is think to ourselves, "I miss you."
It makes me want to cry. The separation takes a stressful toll on both of us.
I woke up this morning to a text message:
"I know you are alseep and im sorry if i woke you up but i cant sleep and i miss you so much." Apr 27, 12:44am
Just days prior, while studying for an exam, I had realized I had not talked to Him for more then five minutes and that it hurt me to think that I was neglecting Him. My instincts told me He was feeling down. It's wierd, we get sick together, we get depressed together, we feel happy together, all while being about 300 miles from each other.
I wrote to Him how I felt directly, that I love Him and cannot wait to be by his side. And this is what I am working for. Our future.
I miss Him so. I feel Him in my heart and I hurt. I have less then two years until I am free to be by his side for eternity. Until then....
I am so stressed. I feel stripped to the bone. I feel stripped of feeling, of rest, of concentration, of kindness. I need to be rejuvenated. I have three more exams left and I am burned out. This is most likely why I am writing. I usually have the urge to right when I am in a down sort of mood.
If only I could get a single hug. It would last me for days. So to my love, I know you read this...
Hug?
