Time I Start Blogging Again....

Why did I stop. No idea. School I guess...

WEll, I would love to actulley find people my own age to chat with and be friends with face to face to talk about this stuff... but it's so hard to find anyone.

Anyway... somthing someone wrote on a site that I liked...

"I find the arty people to be the most interesting most of the time. Though there are always those quiet accounting majors or religious studies girls who would shock the pants off both of us."

Yeah.. change quiet accounting major to quiet finance major, and you got me.

I found this very amusing.

I sure as hell would shock the pants off of anyone who knew I was a sub :)

Bad Mood

It's been quite a while and I apologize.

I find my self in a bad mood when I am missing my Master. It takes me a while to realize that the cause of my bad mood is that I am feeling submissive, but he is not here to submit to.

In the meantime, here are some writings from a fellow online deviant that I have throuroughly enjoyed read and I feel make a lot of sense.

...being a master requires me to have an understanding of a girl's heart, and what it takes to make it throb...any brute can simply brandish a whip and rape, but a true dom uses romance and seduction to slowly dissolve discontent and make a girl willingly submit herself to him. That is true art.

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Do not be afraid. I will not hurt you. The world has forsaken you but I am still here.

I will protect you, I will make everything alright. That's what a Master does.

If you cry, I will hold you. If you need me, you only need ask. You are not my slave, you are my Pet, and so I must care for you with love, not pain.

In exchange for all this that I give to you, my love, my protection, my kind ear and my warm embrace, I only ask one thing: Submit.

It's easier than you think. Just toss aside your will and kneel before me. Obey me without question. That's all I ask.

We will be together. We will laugh and cry together. We will hold each other, together, but you shall still submit.

Yes, there will be pain. And punishment. But that is only so you know how to make me happy. Don't you want me to be happy?

Do not be afraid. I'm here. I'll stay here, with you, even when the world has left you. 

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Sadomasochism is a large sacrifice for both parties. The master must make sure that his slave/pet is cared for. He must put her before everything else. And she must do the same for him.

Submit...and you will not regret it.

Nice and Simple

This post is pretty straight forward.

I'm dying to live with Him.

I'm dying to see what it would be like 24/7

Very anxious sub here.

Very Excited!

I'm starting to get some readers! And positive opinions. This makes me excited because I really do want people to read my blog. Spread the word :)

Anyway... I'm up to 130 lashings/punishments/whatever he has planned.

Yes, I'm just that stubbron.

Actuality, I lied To Him. So he added like 70.

Things are going back to normal, I feel it. I'm falling in love once more :) <3

I really just wish the distance was over. We are both adults now and I feel like this back and fourth for the weekends thing is juvenile. We have no privacy to really live the life style we want and we only see each other for two days at a time. No fun. Also probably the major root of our relationship issues.

So anyway, if people read this please post some comments. I would love to hear them.

Or suggestions about anything for my Master. He does read my blog.

P.S. I'm slightly scared about the amount of punishments, When He came last time, He pinched my nipples very hard until I squealed and each one of those counted as one. He only did ten, and it hurt...

Ugh

It's difficult to continue on a path of M/s when your having relationship issues.

P.S. I think I'm up to sixty some lashings, not including the pain I was put through this weekend after a visit from Him.

Where does a person draw the line between Master/slave and actual love and trust issues? A person is a person. We all have feelings, dominant or submissive.

I want my loving boyfriend back, I want everything to be perfect again so we can continue our wonderful M/s relationship.

I feel like a line has been severd, and now it's hard to be open and trusting. It's hard to see our sexual relationship as anything other then just sex.

Where is the love and passion? I want it back.

So I've found out that

So I've found out that I can update my blogs by texting! That's right I'm texting right now. This is pretty cool.
Ellie <3

Ellie <3

Ellie <3

lets see if this text

lets see if this text worked : )
Ellie <3

Live. Laugh. Love. and Think Positive.

So....

I have figured out why I need it. Control and Domination.My life is hectic. It's full of disappointments, backstabbers and long periods of bad luck... (I hate August.)

Anyways, I was watching "Secretary" which is basically a film about getting some form of control in this girls life. She starts out getting out of a mental institution because she cuts her self. (I don't just for the record) Her dad's a raging, drunken, abusive, alcoholic and her mom never takes a stand. Well, she gets hired by a lawyer who has control issues and a thing for submissive girls. He comes in on her cutting herself and tells her never to do it again. She doesn't. She's happier.

My point is, we all need a sense of control in our lives, even if it comes in the form of another person. I have no control it feels like, but when I have my Master giving me rules about everyday things, I am happier. I have goals. I am better because of it and everything seems to fall into place. Through Him, in a way, I am able to control my life. He looks after me and takes care of me. He cares for me. Whether a person is into BDSM or not who doesn't want that? I adore Him becuase of it.

He will never abandon me. 

On another note, I have new rules and amendments to others.

• To say "Yes, Sir." or "Yes, Master" after everything he asks, requests or says. 
• Wash thoroughly with soap. Every crevice, so that I am nice a clean, every shower.
• Go to the gym every other day. I have to keep myself healthy and in shape.
• When ever possible or when I am sure it is him, answer the phone with "Hello, sir" or "Hello, Master."
• I must not question master.
• I must not talk back.
• I must listen to the hypnosis he chooses, not matter what. 
• No more zit cream (lol I know it sounds gross, sorry...)
• Think Positive. (Because I have a hard time with that.)
  

An Update on the Rules.

I'm up to 12 lashings... me and my big mouth.

I must not question master. 

I must not talk back.

I must listen to the hypnosis he chooses, not matter what.

Also there is a change to the Gym rule.

I can either go to the gym every otherday, or use the anal beads. It's my choice, but I must pick one.

So here's the complete list so far:

• To say "Yes, Sir." or "Yes, Master" after everything he asks, requests or says. 
• Wash thoroughly with soap. Every crevice, so that I am nice a clean, every shower.
• Go to the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I have to keep myself healthy and in shape. Or If I so choose, I can wear the anal beads for the time period that master chooses.
• When ever possible or when I am sure it is him, answer the phone with "Hello, sir" or "Hello, Master."
• I must not question master.
• I must not talk back.
• I must listen to the hypnosis he chooses, not matter what. 

Rules

Slowly there are rules I have to remember to follow. I'm gonna write them here so I can keep track.


So far, all that I can remember is:

• To say "Yes, Sir." or "Yes, Master" after everything he asks, requests or says. 
• Wash thoroughly with soap. Every crevice, so that I am nice a clean, every shower.
• Go to the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I have to keep myself healthy and in shape. 
• When ever possible or when I am sure it is him, answer the phone with "Hello, sir" or "Hello, Master."

So far, that's all I've got. I can't remember any more but I'm sure he'll give me some more. 

I enjoyed this poem from her master to his slave.

In fact I've enjoyed almost everything this guy has written about being a master.

Dedicated to my slave, who I have been separated from for a time.

If She Were Here

I'd tie her down.
Pull her wet panties off, and stuff them in her mouth.
Twist her nipples cruelly.
Bite her, bite every piece of beautiful white skin that was showing.
Gag her with my long, thick cock.
Make her swallow every drop.
Flip her over and fuck her like a dog.
Spank her for even the simplest disobedience (or, if need be, an imagined one)
Call her slut, bitch, slave, til I can't speak.
Slap her, drug her, rape her.

This is what I'd do if you were here. I hope to see you again soon, Pet. I'm thinking about you every day.

Love...so much love,
Master

I also like the way he described a master slave relationship. For a kid freash outta high school this is pretty good.

Yes, a master and slave relationship is formed by the chains that hold the slave down. Yes, bondage is a fetish, and yes, rough sex is still sex. But it's still a relationship, and no matter how much it doesn't seem like it, a Master really does love his slave.

Master, I am feeling a bit neglected.

It's Simple

I want to be loved. I want to make love.

 

Favorite Web Sites

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"Fit" to be Fucked

I guess one of the more important things I've thought about when it comes to being in a M/s relationship. This occurred to me when I exercised today and was happy to note that I'll be in great shape for my bf/Master.

First and foremost I've been starting to eat better and work out for my own wellness as well as trying to come out of my bubble and socialize. All of these things are important for a healthy life and super importent for a healthy relationship. Thing people want to think about when it comes to their health, mixed with M/s:

• Eat well. (Tis the reason I choose the picture above. A perfect combination of sex and good eaten :p) Both Master and slave should eat well. Why? The more fruits and less meat and junk the Master eats, the better his cum will taste and the more the slave will want it. On the slave's end however, she (I only write about Male/female relationships) won't tier or get sick as easily. Drinking water and eating a ton of fruit is the best thing to do for this relationship.
• Full body workouts. Take one day and do a million crunches (not really a million but you get the point) take another day and do some cardio work (it makes your heart strong and your breath last longer) and another day to work the rest of the muscles. So far it's worked for me and feel I am in great shape. I can't wait to show my Master. :)
• Socilize. Now I know there are people in M/s realtionships who don't have thier own lives. I guess that's okay. But studies show that the less you socialize, the more depressed a person can get. So if you want to have a healthy slave, let her go out. I don't mean party, I mean healthy hanging out with friends and such. Same with the Master. Bond with other guys, even if it means braging about haveing a girl that caters to you ever whim ;).

I don't know why but all this just kind of occured to me today, but I think it's becasue for the past two weeks I've been going by those three bullets and there seems to be a connection beteween those and my sex drive.

The Heathier, Happier and more In Shape I'm in the more fun my sex life becomes and the more I want to show it off for my Master :).

My Life As I Know It

Most likely my life as I know it... And I'm not totally complaining.

It started with experimentation.
Then some games and confessions.
Exploring limits.
A few spanks here and there.
Next it's gonna be a growing number of rules.
Then punishments and training.
Marriage.

I'm going to love every bit of it.