I have a job in a bad job market where I'm going to learn marketable skills.
I am in good health.
I'm moving near the man that I love and will for the rest of my life finally after 6 years of distance.
I'm 22, but I am independent and stable in my life and career.
I have a lot of potential, although I'm not sure how to use it.
All this is true and then this little thought claws it's way through my mind.... I'm going to miss my family, my house, my neighborhood, my friends, my dog and cat and my community. I love this place.
I haven't been happy without my Master though since he moved when we were 16 and now that that's changing I don't think I'll be happy without my family. I'm torn. My stomach literally feels that way. I wish I could have everyone together, but isn't always as kind and as easy as that and you'd think I'd know that by now.
I have a future and I'm at a crossroads. The path I choose to go is my decision. I want help, I want to be happy, but unfortunately the only person that can make an ultimate decision is myself and I have always been bad at making decisions for myself. I'm a submissive! It's just who I am.
I have an apartment now. I just have to pack my stuff and move in which I'm finding nearly impossible to start.
I'm trying to look forward positively and with an open heart and mind, but I'll I can see is fog, dirt, a blurriness in my future. Maybe that's what scares me.
I'm going to be thinking about this term Honim Myo - From this moment on, all day today while I work. I will also be thinking of my Master's saying "It will all Work Out". Because I find relief and peace in his words. I find a calm when he talks to me.
Honim Myo - From This Moment On
Everything we do is by choice. The choice to be happy or not is also yours. It appears that you are worried about the future - perhaps the future (or thinking about it anyway) is the problem.
ReplyDeleteAll too often, people say, "When this or that happens, i'll be happy." Make the choice to be happy NOW. The future is going to come whether you want it to or not, so why be concerned about it...instead, focus on the present.
Be present in your life right now. Participate and engage in your life right now and leave the future to what it will be. With each new dawn, you have the potential to have the best day of your life, if you don't prejudge it and/or the future.
With each moment of your day, you can have little moments of positivity...those are winning moments...string them together and you can win the day, string your winning days together and you can win the week, the month, the year: your life :)
*hugs*
kitten{SirW}